Holiday Thoughts from Uncle Scrooge

Our Holiday blog posting comes to us from Republic’s resident Uncle Scrooge and CFO, Chris Munson.

Etiquette and family sensitivities around the holidays are a minefield.

The worst thing about getting bad gifts is you can’t tell the person that you don’t like it while they are still breathing. A prime example of gifts gone awry is the hideous chair we have wedged into a corner of our dining room. It is a red velvet French bordello style chair. If you don’t know what a bordello is, your mother would be proud. Oh, and because ugly needs to get around it is on wheels! Apparently the  French after a gorging like to roll themselves around. We can never get rid of the chair because someone close to my wife, who shall remain nameless, gave it to us. My wife thought the cats might like to sit in it but in a house full of cats who shed on and scratch every conceivable surface the chair remains pristine. Now, we have a chair that has tenure on a long and unfruitful life. Why? As everyone who has gotten an ugly sweater from their Mom knows, you can’t get rid of it because it would hurt their feelings.

Another sensitivity is the holiday feast. Some say bring out every disgusting family recipe from the old country or the back of a soup can. I cook a turkey with two side dishes. A duck and mashed potatoes.  I have had enough undercooked green bean casserole, mystery stuffing and  unyielding cranberry sauce to last a lifetime. Everybody says they want vegetables but nobody eats the vegetables. Just like those who order a salad with dressing on the side but eat all the french fries off your plate. Preferences vary. I know people who cook a turkey to the size of a Cornish game hen and still think it is not done.

But the ultimate in holiday sensitivities is family time. In the time of our forefathers Betsy married her cousin Bert and they lived on a farm with a tribe of relatives. For economic necessity everyone had to get along or the cow died. Now, you can avoid each other all year long even if you live in the same house (that’s why they have email) except for the holidays. Everyone in the family hates who you date, hates who you marry, hates what you do for a living and especially hates the holidays. Still we wouldn’t miss it for the world. But this year skip the cheap wine that has been stored under the unused bread maker for two years and sip a little Republic tequila instead.

Happy holidays fans of the Republic.

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